The Long Road
Long late nights.
Desk lamp lit until well past midnight
or up long before the sun
to study, to write and prepare.
Classes three or four times a week filling days
filling nights.
Missing parent/teacher conferences, bingo nights and
occasionally performances and concerts.
Sorry kiddo – I have class/an exam/work.
Working during the in-betweens
scrapping by, biding time, watching each penny and dime.
Designing lessons, building units
watching the lightbulbs come on in the students.
This year – they feel like your students
your kids making you laugh, frustrating and yet you can’t
imagine
being anywhere else.
May comes into focus, slowly page by page in your planner
marked in a myriad of colors for teaching, work, school,
your family.
Slowly marking off days – the run towards May becoming longer
than the run to May.
Counting days.
Final tests for a license, final classes for a degree, final
lessons for the school year
all waiting on the horizon – so close now
Interviews to anticipate, resumes to print, interview answer
to prepare
Giddy and excited, worried and stressed – you live a duality
day by day, hour by hour, waiting – so soon now
so soon
a contract to sign, a classroom to decorate, a class of your
own.
A teacher.
Keely,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your poem. You have managed to mimic your content with your form: the list-like feeling seems to emulate the never-ending to-do list that we face as student teachers. As I read, I felt just like I was rushing along beside you, furiously crossing items off the agenda. Then, at the end, I felt like I had arrived in my own classroom and taken a great sigh of relief. Ahhhhhhhhh. :)
One moment within your poem that especially spoke to me was when you wrote, " Missing parent/teacher conferences, bingo nights and/occasionally performances and concerts./Sorry kiddo – I have class/an exam/work." One of my greatest anxieties about this semester (and one that took up a bit of room in my own poem) concerns making enough time for family/friends while being the very best teacher that I can be. I don't know about you, but I sometimes feel very guilty about not spending much time with them, yet also completely justified: what a frustrating contradiction.
If you ever want to talk about anything, give me a call.
best,
Mary
Thank you for the kind comments Mary. Indeed the balancing act is hard. I keep telling myself and my family/friends that it is only until May in the hopes that everything can hold tight until then. Guilt is high on my list of feelings many days, and like you, I teeter between that guilt and the fact that I need to be my best in school and my classroom right now. Argh.
DeleteThanks for the support - likewise - call anytime we can commiserate together, eh?
Keely
Ms. Tolbert,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your piece! I like your usage of repeated words because they mimic that feeling of constant “bleh” that we’re all feeling at the moment: “to study, to write, and prepare” “filling days filling nights” just to name a few. It was also nice to read across the lines that rhymed in your poem; it has a really nice flow.
Your poem wasn’t entirely filled with worries but it also had some memories that brightened your piece to focus on the good:
“This year – they feel like your students/your kids making you laugh, frustrating and yet you can’t imagine/being anywhere else.”
It feels great to be reminded about those rewarding moments in what we do, so thank you for that reminder!
As I read your poem, it reminded me of this blog that I stumbled upon last semester. It’s a blog that belongs to an English teacher’s and it gave me a lot of inspiration and good tips. It could also help you clear out some of the things that you’re feeling or are going through. You should totally check it out: http://www.loveteachblog.com/
Sincerely,
Quynh
Thank you Quynh! I checked out the blog you suggested - what a great resource. I added it to my follow list. :)
DeleteIn the midst of all this semesters craziness I have to keep at least part of one eye on the end goal - our own classroom. Without that, I'm not sure I could get up and face each day. Sometimes it is the little things that get us through it all, yes?
Thanks for stopping by!
Keely,
ReplyDeleteGreat work here! This is a spot-on interpretation of how we are all feeling.
I love how you mentioned the duality. I find that to be so true.
We all have this anxious and stressful undertone in our lives right now, but I think we all feel a sense of not only accomplishment, but comfort. You are right when you talk about the seemingly endless amount of work in front of us and I know we are all dreading it, but despite all of that, I feel your poem has an underlying element of positivity and reassurance because you know you are doing exactly what you are meant to do.
I am with you and I know we can do it!
Keep focusing on the good,
Erin
Hi Erin,
DeleteIndeed - I'm glad we're all in this together and I really enjoyed reading your poem as well. It is that light at the end of the tunnel (to use a horribly overused cliche) that keeps me moving forward because all of this will be SO WORTH IT.
We can and will do this. Glad we can all wrap up this journey together.
Keep smiling!
Keely
Ahhh, the wonderful feelings of a college student.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mrs. Tolbert for sharing your poem. You seem like superwoman to me because on top of the stresses we all share (KPTP, college classes on top of student teaching, etc.) you have two content areas to prepare for AND you have a family to provide for as well. And your poem imitates that: the nonstop list of necessary tasks to complete and the overwhelming feeling we get when we think about what all needs to be done in such a short amount of time. You captured this feeling well.
What gets me through the busy times is just thinking, "It will get done. Eventually." No matter how much sleep you lose, it will all get done. And it will all be worth it because once you have that teaching job and that diploma in your hand, looking back on these hard months will hopefully seem not as bad and completely worth it.
Good luck with your semester!
Ms. Rodriguez
Thank you Ms. Rodriguez. I agree with your sentiment - it all does get done eventually and one huge bonus to having my family is that I have that much more help with all the things in life outside of school.
DeleteI don't think I'm alone in thinking that signing a contract to teach and graduation will be two huge high points this year. Glad we'll get to share them - it will make all this hard work and worry and stress worth it in the end. :)
Keely
Ms. Tolbert,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this! One particular line that caught my attention was "watching the lightbulbs come on in students". I was recently talking with a family member over the break; he ended up teaching as well- something neither of us thought he would end up doing and that was something he and I had in common. I asked him when he realized that it was right for him, when it clicked and he simply replied "lightbulbs". I smiled to myself because I knew that we had an understanding. It is so hard to balance everything, especially right now but we're getting there!
Thanks again for sharing.
P.S. We need to find a motivational poster about lightbulbs.
Ms. Dawson,
DeleteThe lightbulb moments are ones I relish. Especially in students who are more distant - wow - it makes me feel privileged to be there in that moment to see it all click.
We will get there. One assignment, one deadline, one interview at a time, right?
Mission: find a motivational poster about lightbulbs!
Keely
Keely,
ReplyDeleteYour poem was a wonderful representation of the fears that we are all experiencing right now! The tests, the KPTP, the interviews, and more are all things we are constantly experincing this semester! Your poem was very vivid with fresh imagery that allowed me to capture your thoughts in my own mind. My poem was quite similar as I shared out my own personal fears (some of which have come true unfortunately, though not many thankfully).
I think that writing these poems has allowed us to take a deep breath and understand that we can get through it. I look forward to the end of the semester when we get let go of that breath and realize that we did it! You definitely captured the feeling of being almost done...and then the idea that we get to start something new! We are so close now! :-)
We're in this together!
Mr. Naylor
Mr. Naylor,
DeleteI agree - reading all the poems has been a huge affirmation for me that we are all in this together. So many parallel thoughts and images. I feel lucky to be in a such a dynamic group as we move through these last few months together.
So many things to do - but we can and will succeed!
Thanks for being such a positive voice that we can do this. :)
Keely
Oh, I can definitely relate to your poem. At times I still feel guilty for having to celebrate my son's birthday late, since I had a final that night. (He doesn't remember that.) I love your image of "May [coming] into focus, slowly page by page in your planner...." You have aptly expressed so many emotions, and, rest assured, May will come!
ReplyDeleteLove this piece, Ms. Tolbert! Like Ms. Harrison, I was caught up in the rush of it, the adrenaline, and I adore how the final five lines slow down and allow me to take stock of the journey. Thank you for sharing with us!
ReplyDelete